Tuesday, August 1


Being a girl I’ve been told that my breast of blessed possession is too small. Huh? People cannot shut up right? And who even gives us the sense of small or big over other people’s body.

Well, luckily that didn’t affect myself image and I’m sure it’s only because I love the freedom my perfect size offers when it comes to choice of underwear (including going “without” unnoticed). All em perfect sized babes will understand what I’m talking about.


If not? I'm sure it would have bothered me at some point in life.

However, many women have been badly damaged by descriptions given by friends, family and themselves, about their body parts. 

Read: The rules of self esteem

Today, we will hear from a seasoned woman of faith and inspiration. She is the author of the new book titled, MIRROR WAR: Winning the battle of self image

Please help me welcome, Ifeoma Onweluzo.

Anne: Hi Ifeoma, It’s an honour to have you here with us on Young and Relevant series. You are actually our first guest!!!

Ifeoma: Thank you very much for having me.

Anne: Let’s meet you ma

Ifeoma: My name is Ifeoma Onweluzo. I am from Nnewi in Anambra State, Nigeria and I currently reside there.

What inspired you to write a book addressing self image issues?

This book was born out of obedience to the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. It started right in my room, while standing in front of my mirror. Just like I wrote in the book, as I stood trying to make a choice on what to wear out one evening, the Holy Spirit whispered that the problem wasn't with the clothes. But it was with an internal war I have not been able to win. A war of self image and acceptance.

A war to either accept or reject what I see about myself any time I stand before the Mirror. Right there, he called it the "Mirror War".
So he started ministering to me from there and teaching me how to heal. And reminded me that many are also in this *War* and the book could help a great deal. I had to start off the write-up right away in my office, afterwards. 

Read: Checklist for successful teen years
In the book, you mentioned comparing yourself with others while growing up. Could you tell us more about how much negative impact that had on you?

Comparing myself with others started at a very early stage in my life. This was because of the "body awareness" that I started developing because of people's remarks on me.

This started taking its toll on me:

Firstly, the more I compared, the more inferior, unworthy, dejected, depressed and unqualified I felt.

Secondly, the more I compared, the more I disliked myself. I couldn't see anything good about my looks. So the feeling of emptiness only increased.

Thirdly, it spilled into my relationship with others because I couldn't also see anything good most times. And even when I did, I felt intimidated or tried to deny it. It made me envious and insecure at some occasions. I always got the notion that others may be preferred more than I am.
I was also fearful and too sensitive to people's words so my social life really suffered.

Fourthly, I tried to use material things to do a cover up in most cases.

When did you begin to heal? Where there practical steps you took or was it something that happened on its own?

The healing process has been a journey. Immediately I realized how deeply concerned God was about the issue, how He loved and accepted me and was ready to use me touch other lives going through similar issues, I was ready to cooperate with God to get whole.

Talking about the practical steps:

- I had to admit vividly that I had self image and esteem problem.
- I had to agree with God that it should be dealt with.
- Together, we travelled down my life to detect the roots; Because if I don't find the roots that is generating it, we can't deal with or excavate it.
- God started showing me how much in love He was with me, His own view and perspective of me.
 In His word, we journeyed especially through Songs of Solomon for a better unveiling of the reality He wanted me to grasp.
- I started receiving and confessing those to myself, especially in front of the same MIRROR that I normally stood as worthless.
And I still confess till date. Any time I feel the temptation to slip or slide into low esteem or comparison, I go back for a reassurance. 

Take the Broken stilettos mentoring course for self esteem, emotional  healing and wholeness HERE

What major challenges did you encounter while writing this book? How did you deal with those?

The major challenge I faced was that of using my own true life story to buttress some of the points. I felt vulnerable and uneasy initially. Talking about my experience that openly wasn’t so easy.
I knew many people will read it, so I initially struggled with writing it.

The second challenge was getting done with writing the book. A time came when the enemy tried to discourage me by saying that people would not patronize or buy the book. That I wasn't that popular, so who would want to read my story?

God helped me to deal with those by asking me to trust Him. That He is the one leading me and will send the book wherever He wants it to be. So I chose to obey rather than to fear.
Also, I was in church one Sunday and as the Pastor preached, he declared, "go and finish that book you are writing".
He didn't call out anyone's name but I just knew God was speaking to me. 

Read: The identity Rule

Anne: I love the way you incorporated songs of Solomon into this book. You insightfully showed us that self image battle had been even in bible times.
Mirror war is such an excellent piece.
Thank you for being vulnerable, allowing us to see into your experiences. I’m sure a lot of women can relate with your story and I believe this book with help guide us all in to wholeness.
Thank you again for coming on Young and Relevant series

Ifeoma: Amen. That’s my desire. You’re welcome Anne. Thank you for having me.

So family, y’all have heard what we are up against as women.


Go grab Mirror war book and embrace your journey to a victorious self image and esteem.
Mirror war is available on Okadabooks Here
You can also call 07037892846 for paper back (delivered in all 36 states of Nigeria)

Meanwhile, we have free copies to give away!!
To win, share your thoughts with us in the comment box below.

If you’re young and doing or have done something relevant to lives on earth and eternally? Email youngandrelevantseries@gmaildotcom to get featured on the young and relevant series.

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